Wednesday, September 15, 2004

"Our Story" (No Sap Added)
The Unrepentant Bachelor Blogger has been complaining about the inevitable sappiness that ensues when couples share "our story." Now I have some sympathy with him, because I abhor sappiness, too. But I don't think it's an inevitable part of getting married. I think DOB and I survived the premarital process without inflicting any sappiness on our friends and relations. (Not to say that we didn't inflict other things, like permanently tied-up phone lines, on them.)

I can even tell "our story" without a drip of sappiness:

Once upon a time, DOB was looking for people to argue with. Since QOC was also looking for people to argue with, they encountered each other and argued. DOB, by foul treachery (or so QOC alleged) won that debate. So QOC was very annoyed, and kept arguing with him.

After a couple of years of arguing, they spent so much time at it that His Majesty became concerned that all this arguing might jeopardize QOC's job. So he told DOB he should either begin subsidizing QOC's existence himself or stop taking up so much of her time. DOB duly considered the matter and decided that the former course would be more expedient, as it is very difficult to find people who like to argue that much, and QOC was also a good cook.

So DOB and QOC got married and lived together ever after, but they were too busy paying the mortgage and populating the world to argue any more.

See? That's not so bad, is it?


the Joneses said...

Okay, that was the nice non-sappy version. However, unlike Bachelor Blogger, I am highly in favour of sappy versions. Do you have that anywhere?

--DJ (aka Closet Romantic)

Queen of Carrots said...

Not thus far. But DOB thinks he can come up with a more romantic version, so it may be available soon.

My romance isn't just in the closet, it's in a dark corner in an unlabeled box with lots of packing tape on it.