Tacoma Resident Begins Issuing Inter-Appliance Marriage Licenses

Tacoma resident Marcia Pritchards announced Monday that she was issuing a marriage license to her cat and her toaster, who plan to be married this Saturday.

Pritchards said she was inspired by the example of mayors around the nation issuing licenses to same-sex couples. "Then my cat and my toaster came to me, and I realized--they have a truly loving and caring relationship. How can we deny them this basic right?"

Although some have questioned her legal authority to grant such licenses, Pritchards remains adamant. "I think the laws are open to interpretation. What I go with is the Constitution, which guarantees equality. We can't deny my cat the right to marry the one he loves."

Pritchards said she would issue licenses to any other couple who requested them. "I think something's developing between my neighbor's lawnmower and the oak tree on the corner," she commented. "If they came to me I'd be delighted to marry them."