The very late and boring edition:
Scenario #2: You're at a kids' soccer game and stay late to help pack everything up. After you've seen absolutely everyone off, you get in your vehicle and turn the key. Nothing happens. How do you get home?
(This scenario has been neglected, so I felt obliged to choose it. I'm that way about abstract and inanimate objects. Not about puppies.)
Step 1: Using disciplinary magic, we send the children scouring the car for stray money and also search our wallets. Fortunately it is garage sale season, so we actually do have a little cash. Total: $137.89.
Step 2: Setting the twin table we were hoping to sell (because by the time any of our kids are playing soccer the twins will definitely have outgrown restrained feeding devices) in the middle of the road, we wait for a victim.
Step 3: A brand-new minivan swerves to miss the table and stops right in front of us. With cash in hand and our mind-molding magical techniques in service, we step up to offer them a trade.
Step 4: "Sure, it's only $137.89, but with this article on how to double your money, it's really worth far more. You only have to double it nine times for it to be $70,559.68--far more than the value of your vehicle." Somehow they accept, and we drive off.
Step 5: We realize that we live one block from the soccer field and wonder why we went to all that trouble. But hey, we got a new minivan out of it!