Sunday, March 09, 2008

Inappropriate Prenatal Advice

Wrong Culture:
For snacks, try a cheese and vegemite sandwich. (Oy.)
Do your exercises every time you have a cup of tea. (So, twice a month, then?)

Wrong Era:
Take a list of people to call with you to the hospital. (What modern parent doesn't already have everybody from their parents to their first college roommate's old number still programmed in their phone?)

Wrong Planet:
Increase your calorie intake by adding more courses to your meals. Start with soup, then salad, bread, main dish, and dessert. All freshly made from organic ingredients, of course. (Sure, when maternity insurance coverage includes a personal chef and dishwasher. Until then, we'll have to survive on one-pot casseroles.)


Steve said...

Somehow I think you may be reading the wrong books. Try favorites like "Horton hears two whos", "Two flew over the cuckoo's nest", and Dostoevsky's classic "The twins Karamazov".

Fe said...


I had to read and re-read the first section to work out what your point was:-)

Mmmm! Vegemite and cheese:-)

Anonymous said...

Don't forget, after the babies are born: NAP whenever the babies nap! You just have to get D1 and D2 to nap then too...

Wendy from Zoom Times

Queen of Carrots said...

Fe--Yes, nothing personal, but I think I'll stick to dijon on my cheese sandwiches.

Wendy--Right, that was GREAT advice for the first baby. After that, not so good.

Rose Godfrey said...

With my 3rd pregnancy, the baby didn't want to turn into position. I found some great advice on the web like "wear a transistor radio in your pants" and "have your husband speak in a firm voice and tell the child to turn." I guess that last one was so the baby could get a head start on ignoring Daddy.