DOB is working late tonight. And we are not sure what to do without him. D1 doesn't seem to think the usual daytime routine of "play quietly on the floor while Mama works" is adequate for the evening. I am wracking my brain to remember what all those things DOB does with her in the evening that terrify me and set her squealing with delight. But I'm not very good with them. And if I had never watched DOB do them, I'm sure they never would even occur to me. Yet I'm equally sure they're important for her learning and growing.
On the other hand, I don't think she'd get a very well-balanced raising if DOB tried to do it alone, either. (I'll let him figure out what would never occur to him to do.) Just goes to show that a child needs a mama and a papa. Not just any assortment of adults who happen to live at her house. Not two adults who happen to want to raise her. Each parent--each gender of parent--brings something unique and important to the mix of parenting that's very hard to duplicate when they're gone.
Sometimes tragic circumstances mean children can't have both. But no other combination should ever be held up as an equivalent to having a mother and a father.