Lessons Learned Over the Weekend

• If a full beard is an essential part of a costume, it's best to have an understudy beard available, even if your actor possesses a magnificent beard of his own.
• People who have their heart set on wearing a particular outfit on a particular day should not get pregnant two months beforehand.
• Before making suggestive comments backstage about a fellow cast member, make sure your lapel mike is turned off.
• When asked, "Do you prefer crunchy or soft chocolate chip cookies?" clarify in your answer that chocolate chip cookies in any form will be gratefully received.
• Children who get inadequate water during the day may not sleep very well at night owing to severe digestive distress.
• It's a good thing children have two parents, because my brain can't get past crying=hunger at 1 a.m.