Courtship Parts 1, 2, and 3.
Some almost-final thoughts:
I'm not saying, of course, that courtship ruins marriages. I know many people who courted and who are now happily married. However, that does not prove that courtship is good or "works," either. I once met a wonderful Christian couple who had been selected at random and married at gunpoint by the Khmer Rouge. I know many couples who have good, happy marriages that started in ways I don't approve of at all. The failure or success of a marriage is entirely due to the people in the marriage, their choices, character, and yes, compatibility, and not on the circumstances that brought them together.
The trouble comes with convincing people to follow courtship under the assumption that it is more godly to let your parents choose for you than it is to choose for yourself. If you want your parents to choose or approve your spouse, fine. But the Bible does not say they have to.
I wonder if a lot of the turmoil is not over the problems we have with choices. Excessive choice is the blessing and bane of modern existence, from buying toothpaste to choosing a spouse. We have so many choices it is hard to settle on one, and hard to be happy with the choice we made. This may be where a lot of the notorious "fear of commitment" comes from.
But you can't solve this problem by arbitrarily removing choices for other people. That leaves people less free, but they still know the other choices are out there. Sooner or later they will grow resentful of their loss of freedom. I'm not sure there is a solution to the choice problem, but a little more awareness might help. We are going to need to start teaching ourselves and each other choice management. The knowledge that the sheer number of choices is going to make it difficult, and that at some point more comparisons are only going to make you more unhappy. Find something that you are happy with, and then turn your mental energy (this is a natural human strength) into justifying your choice.
In this regard, I don't believe in the "Right One" mythos, whether it's expressed in spiritual or secular terms. I don't think there is one magic right soul mate to whom we belong and we should wait until we are sure we have found this mystical being. Add that idea to the vast theoretical field of potential marriage partners and no wonder no one can settle down.
I do believe there is such a thing as true love and a deep and lasting connection with another person. If you've found it, hold on to it. There probably are better people out there. But when you truly love another person, you don't want someone better. You want this one, flaws and all.