Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Everything You Didn't Want to Know

People ask me what it's like being pregnant with twins. It's like being pregnant with one, only three months farther along. So right now I feel about two weeks overdue: everything hurts, I can't find a comfortable position, I get contractions if I stay on my feet for ten minutes, all my cute maternity clothes are too small and only the tents are left. And I still have two and a half months to go. And I don't even have any complications!

All I have to do to reconcile myself to the discomfort of my current position is to go read a few stories of babies born at 28 weeks. It's wonderful what they can do these days in the NICU, but I want my babies with me, thank you very much. So they are welcome to stay in another ten weeks, even if they must tango on my bladder.

The consoling factor on hugeness is that the ducklings still refer to me as "little Mama." I suppose they think this is the logical reciprocal since I call them my little people. Sort of an all-purpose term of endearment. No doubt if we had an elephant it would be their little elephant.

The other difference with twins is that not only am I paranoid about whether I've felt the baby move lately, I'm paranoid about whether I've felt both of them move. Which is hard to know since I'm not quite sure which one is where. Sometimes they kick each other instead of me, which feels odd.

We have acquired the minivan (a Honda Odyssey, the choice of rapidly-growing families everywhere). We have acquired the double jogging stroller, and discovered we have nowhere to store it except in the living room. Making room for the babies is going to require divesting ourselves of some furniture. No matter what everyone says, I refuse to stock up on swings and bouncy seats. I don't like them, I don't trust them, and I don't want one more thing to trip over.

Still on the list to acquire are a co-sleeper (whereby I hope I can keep both babies within arm's length at night) and the monster twin nursing pillow. Still on the list to do is rearrange our bedroom to make space for these things. Also I must decide if I want to stick with the doctors' practice I have or switch to one with a better track record in handling twin VBACs naturally.

Then there's the whole eating and sleeping thing, which takes up pretty much all of my available time. I miss my brain most of all, though. I left the salt and soda out of the biscuits for supper. Not pretty.


Rose Godfrey said...

Can you call it unleavened bread and make vague references to an obscure religious observance?

Carrie said...

Well I thought your report was fascinating. And I'm really curious to know about those co-sleeper bed attachments (if that's what you are getting). I WISH we had had one with J2. Man that would have been nice. With two, I imagine it's even more of a necessity!

Melissa said...

sounds like life is busy! I love the kidlets "little Mama" phrase for you - that's adorable! I hope that God gives you a blessed rest of this pregnancy, and that you can fully enjoy each remaining day (even though some of those days are not as fun as others)...

Queen of Carrots said...

Rose--the unleavened part would work, but I'm not so sure about leaving out the salt.

Carrie--I will post a review of the co-sleeper once I've actually tried it out~so it will be awhile. ;-) I've been wanting one for a long time, but with twins the little basket we were using just wasn't going to work.

Melissa--thanks for the thoughts; I hope the rest goes well for you, too.

Ben, Kyri & Rachelle said...

I'm glad to hear everything is "normal." Were I in your condition I'm afraid I would face an enormous temptation to fabricate a complication in hopes of some full-time help and the chance to sit on the bed, grow bigger, and read stories to my little ones.

I love the "little mama." Hang on that encouragement!

Queen of Carrots said...

Rachelle~That would be tempting except that it's just about as painful to be in bed as anywhere else. I don't want anyone forcing me there. A full-time housekeeper/nanny sounds wonderful, though.

CappuccinoLife said...

I am so amazed by your wonderful good humor through this. You somehow manage to draw a smile no matter what you're writing about. :)

Sure wish my kids would call me "little mama". That is so sweet. :D
My 5 yo has recently been making blunt observations on my size--and unfortunately I am anything but little, even in the non-pregnant state. sigh

Anonymous said...

forgot to mention growing out of maternity clothes and random strangers thinking I was waaay further along due to size. this will be a very distant memory all too soon. Hang in there!! almost done :)