Sometime about the time of clearing up the dishes from Easter dinner, the Slump came on full force. It's been a long, long . . . month? Season? Year? Existence? Anyway, it's been a long, hard push, and I'm tired. And now I have the time to feel tired. Really tired. Tired that creeps out from the deepest places and puts a chokehold on. Tired that spreads like syrup and sticks my fingers together.
When you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done
~Dr. Seuss
I want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head and stay there for two weeks. But the children keep getting hungry and the grass keeps growing and what we really, really need, maybe even more than sleep, is things being Normal. Whatever that is. Meals that taste like real food and not prepackaged from Costco. Lessons that start before 10:30 in the morning. Bedtime that starts before 10:30 at night. (Isn't it weird that the more exhausted you are, the harder it is to get to bed on time? But there's just so much to *do* before bed.)
So I'm trying to take my slump in small doses. Lay in a stock of utterly effortless reads. Play mindless computer games while listening to music on my headphones to block out the noise. (There still is *some* noise from children playing, even in this house.) Take slow walks with the little kids even if I don't feel up to taking runs with the big kids on bikes. Take naps when the children are occupied instead of getting the housework done. Accept that right now, productivity and efficiency are my enemies. And keep hoping that there's another side to this slump, that someday I'll wake up and actually want to get out of bed, that someday the sun shining outside will feel like an invitation and not a taunt.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Actual Pictures!
Not *too* tidied up, because then you would not ever see them. And not of everywhere, because some places are not even tidyable enough for this. (The master bedroom still needs drywall, and texture, and paint, and . . . ) And there is still a great lack of Things On The Wall and color in genera. But there's enough to get the idea.
 |
| Kid desk area in the playroom |
 |
| Girls' Bedroom. They have, unfairly, more pillows than anyone else. |
 |
| Playroom. Still needs more bookshelves. |
 |
| Boys' Bedroom. The most presentable angle. |
 |
| Living/dining room. (A child is in MY chair!) |
 |
| Back entry and piano. This is right opposite the kitchen. |
 |
| Kitchen. Even messy it's still pretty roomy. |
 |
| Schoolroom. It's honey, not cantaloupe |
 |
| Backyard. This is the view from the kitchen window. There's a pond down there, with a rowboat and ducks. |
 |
| Back deck and ramp. So far DOB has not driven off the edge, but it would be nice to get the rail up. |
Sunday, April 06, 2014
Slow Takes
Because it's been a long time since Friday. But there might be more than seven.
******
On Friday I decided I had better file the tax extension. (The thing about filing a tax extension is that it's almost as hard as filing taxes, because you have to estimate if you owe any taxes, but you don't have to actually be able to find the paperwork to prove it. Since the filing cabinet only arrived yesterday and the files are still all out in the garage, this was looking like the better option.)
I couldn't put my hands on the kids' social security numbers, but I plugged all the other numbers and a wild estimate on medical fees into the software. To my horror, it showed us owing thousands of dollars in unpaid taxes. I emailed DOB to see if this was correct, but he was out of the office most of the day. When he was around later in the afternoon, I messaged him and we both freaked out for awhile. I remembered that I had a digital copy of last year's tax return, so I pulled it up for comparison to see if I could find my error.
Aha! There were the kids' social security numbers. Might as well plug those in while I was at it. As I did it, I noticed our owed taxes melting away. Pretty soon it was replaced with a modest refund. Apparently the software calculated the children as dependents for a modest tax reduction based on just their birthdates, but we had to enter social security numbers for the full Child Tax Credit.
Whew.
******
In addition to moving in over here, we're still working on getting my grandparents' house ready for the market. I'm about cleaned and organized out. On the plus side, I got me a comfy old recliner which is *my* chair and no child is allowed to touch. (This is horribly cruel, in their estimation.) And a nice end table next to it which is now full of books and notebooks and pens and a spot for a tea mug. It's next to the heater for winter and the window for summer. I am very happy about this.
*****
On Wednesday Rocketboy brought the truck to the cedar lumberyard and we got the wood for the rail around the ramp. (A large part of everybody's life lately seems to be calling up Rocketboy and saying, "Hey, can you bring the truck over for . . . " But he has started actual college classes now, in addition to baking his own casseroles, so we are trying to tone it down.) Nothing in the world smells as good as a cedar lumberyad. (At least, nothing without calories.)
We still don't have it up, though, so DOB continues to risk life and limb on the ramp. But hopefully we are at least past the last frost.
*****
The new house setup is amazingly better on game nights. Before, we had eight people eating in a very small kitchen, and then all cleanup and setup for the game had to happen in the same kitchen (where every dish in and out of the cupboard required rearranging half the chairs) and then seven people all trying to fit around the same small table to actually play. Now the kids eat at the kitchen bar, the grownups eat in the living/dining room, and then kitchen cleanup can go on without having to move anyone's chair. And some people can even sit on the couch. It's a whole new world, and none of us have yet died of the disease that turned everyone to flourescent green goo.
*****
It's time to get back to normal life. Which means we need to start school on Monday. I am so not ready for this. I did spend a couple of afternoons last week planning school. (This was because I sat down and discovered I was too tired to get up again, and it felt more productive than playing Faster Than Light.) But that was for next term, and we still have nearly three weeks left of this term, and I have *no idea* where we were. Better find out tonight. At least I can do it without tripping over everyone!
*****
I may be speaking too soon. But so far the neighborhood seems very nice. There's a boy next door who plays very well with the ducklings, and his mom is very friendly and reasonable and even though last week was spring break things fell into a nice reasonable pattern of playtime a couple of hours every afternoon, mostly outside when it wasn't pouring down rain. There are a lot of teenagers in the neighborhood at large, but so far as I can tell they mostly engage in Wholesome Recreations like walking the dog and tossing footballs and digging in the garden, and not in Obnoxious Pastimes like revving cars blaring loud music at ungodly hours of the night. And there's a teenage girl just up the road who has horses that she has invited Duchess to come and help her curry tomorrow.
*****
Deux probably hates moving the most, as he always has. (For some time after we moved from Cincinnati when he was 5 he insisted that his real family had died and though he was grateful to us for taking him in, it wasn't quite the same.) However, the availability of a room on which he can set up a game and leave it out all weekend (or all spring break) is beginning to bring him around. The twins seem to be adjusting pretty well, and Dash is even having a few less irrational food aversions. Duchess, of course, is totally thrilled.
*****
The piano tuner's appointment software messed up and so he did not come last week, but he is coming on Tuesday, and thereafter I can hopefully start teaching the kids music at last. (We've had the piano for some time, but it was out in an outbuilding. Now it's in the entry.) I have actually started on rhythm. As I feared, they have little more aptitude for it than I, but I persevere.
******
On Friday I decided I had better file the tax extension. (The thing about filing a tax extension is that it's almost as hard as filing taxes, because you have to estimate if you owe any taxes, but you don't have to actually be able to find the paperwork to prove it. Since the filing cabinet only arrived yesterday and the files are still all out in the garage, this was looking like the better option.)
I couldn't put my hands on the kids' social security numbers, but I plugged all the other numbers and a wild estimate on medical fees into the software. To my horror, it showed us owing thousands of dollars in unpaid taxes. I emailed DOB to see if this was correct, but he was out of the office most of the day. When he was around later in the afternoon, I messaged him and we both freaked out for awhile. I remembered that I had a digital copy of last year's tax return, so I pulled it up for comparison to see if I could find my error.
Aha! There were the kids' social security numbers. Might as well plug those in while I was at it. As I did it, I noticed our owed taxes melting away. Pretty soon it was replaced with a modest refund. Apparently the software calculated the children as dependents for a modest tax reduction based on just their birthdates, but we had to enter social security numbers for the full Child Tax Credit.
Whew.
******
In addition to moving in over here, we're still working on getting my grandparents' house ready for the market. I'm about cleaned and organized out. On the plus side, I got me a comfy old recliner which is *my* chair and no child is allowed to touch. (This is horribly cruel, in their estimation.) And a nice end table next to it which is now full of books and notebooks and pens and a spot for a tea mug. It's next to the heater for winter and the window for summer. I am very happy about this.
*****
On Wednesday Rocketboy brought the truck to the cedar lumberyard and we got the wood for the rail around the ramp. (A large part of everybody's life lately seems to be calling up Rocketboy and saying, "Hey, can you bring the truck over for . . . " But he has started actual college classes now, in addition to baking his own casseroles, so we are trying to tone it down.) Nothing in the world smells as good as a cedar lumberyad. (At least, nothing without calories.)
We still don't have it up, though, so DOB continues to risk life and limb on the ramp. But hopefully we are at least past the last frost.
*****
The new house setup is amazingly better on game nights. Before, we had eight people eating in a very small kitchen, and then all cleanup and setup for the game had to happen in the same kitchen (where every dish in and out of the cupboard required rearranging half the chairs) and then seven people all trying to fit around the same small table to actually play. Now the kids eat at the kitchen bar, the grownups eat in the living/dining room, and then kitchen cleanup can go on without having to move anyone's chair. And some people can even sit on the couch. It's a whole new world, and none of us have yet died of the disease that turned everyone to flourescent green goo.
*****
It's time to get back to normal life. Which means we need to start school on Monday. I am so not ready for this. I did spend a couple of afternoons last week planning school. (This was because I sat down and discovered I was too tired to get up again, and it felt more productive than playing Faster Than Light.) But that was for next term, and we still have nearly three weeks left of this term, and I have *no idea* where we were. Better find out tonight. At least I can do it without tripping over everyone!
*****
I may be speaking too soon. But so far the neighborhood seems very nice. There's a boy next door who plays very well with the ducklings, and his mom is very friendly and reasonable and even though last week was spring break things fell into a nice reasonable pattern of playtime a couple of hours every afternoon, mostly outside when it wasn't pouring down rain. There are a lot of teenagers in the neighborhood at large, but so far as I can tell they mostly engage in Wholesome Recreations like walking the dog and tossing footballs and digging in the garden, and not in Obnoxious Pastimes like revving cars blaring loud music at ungodly hours of the night. And there's a teenage girl just up the road who has horses that she has invited Duchess to come and help her curry tomorrow.
*****
Deux probably hates moving the most, as he always has. (For some time after we moved from Cincinnati when he was 5 he insisted that his real family had died and though he was grateful to us for taking him in, it wasn't quite the same.) However, the availability of a room on which he can set up a game and leave it out all weekend (or all spring break) is beginning to bring him around. The twins seem to be adjusting pretty well, and Dash is even having a few less irrational food aversions. Duchess, of course, is totally thrilled.
*****
The piano tuner's appointment software messed up and so he did not come last week, but he is coming on Tuesday, and thereafter I can hopefully start teaching the kids music at last. (We've had the piano for some time, but it was out in an outbuilding. Now it's in the entry.) I have actually started on rhythm. As I feared, they have little more aptitude for it than I, but I persevere.
Tuesday, April 01, 2014
In
We made it in! And although everything was not done before we did it, and there was still a lot of dust causing DOB to spend the first two days sneezing, still here we are and getting unpacked. It doesn't quite feel like home yet, but it does feel like a particularly nice and spacious vacation place. With a few stray boxes.
Since moving in, we have added the ramp, and doorknobs to the two most critical doors (thanks to His Majesty discovering that two of the old doors had lever handles and not the nasty bumpy round ones.) And I've hung some things, mostly crooked. And cleaned out the garage, so DOB can park there.
For the first few days, you aren't really unpacking so much as questing for one item after another to conduct the most basic tasks. Then you can start really digging into the piles and feel like you are Accomplishing Something. I've given myself the rest of this week to get as settled in as I can manage. Because at some point you have to return to normal life and figure the rest will get sorted out someday. Which most of it does, except for the last few boxes that never get unpacked and will be found either in your next move or by your heirs. (Apparently one of *those* contains Rocketboy's sunglasses, which I was keeping a close eye on where he had left them right until the moment when they disappeared.)
Since moving in, we have added the ramp, and doorknobs to the two most critical doors (thanks to His Majesty discovering that two of the old doors had lever handles and not the nasty bumpy round ones.) And I've hung some things, mostly crooked. And cleaned out the garage, so DOB can park there.
For the first few days, you aren't really unpacking so much as questing for one item after another to conduct the most basic tasks. Then you can start really digging into the piles and feel like you are Accomplishing Something. I've given myself the rest of this week to get as settled in as I can manage. Because at some point you have to return to normal life and figure the rest will get sorted out someday. Which most of it does, except for the last few boxes that never get unpacked and will be found either in your next move or by your heirs. (Apparently one of *those* contains Rocketboy's sunglasses, which I was keeping a close eye on where he had left them right until the moment when they disappeared.)
Saturday, March 22, 2014
From the backseat: A lesson in patience
Deux: Arrrghhh!
Duchess: Stop that, Deux! You are so picky!
Deux: I can't help it, Dash is being so annoying!
QOC: What are you doing, Dash?
Dash: I'm putting on my coat.
QOC: Well, Deux, if someone is not trying to bother you and it won't cause you permanent harm, it's best to just ignore it. Life is much smoother that way.
Deux: I can't ignore it when it bothers me!
QOC: The trick is to think about something else. Like how many prime numbers there are smaller than 100.
Deux: How many prime numbers smaller than 100 . . . most odd numbers are primes . . . except the ones that end in five, like 15, 25, 35, 45 . . . .
Duchess: Arrrrrgh!
Duchess: Stop that, Deux! You are so picky!
Deux: I can't help it, Dash is being so annoying!
QOC: What are you doing, Dash?
Dash: I'm putting on my coat.
QOC: Well, Deux, if someone is not trying to bother you and it won't cause you permanent harm, it's best to just ignore it. Life is much smoother that way.
Deux: I can't ignore it when it bothers me!
QOC: The trick is to think about something else. Like how many prime numbers there are smaller than 100.
Deux: How many prime numbers smaller than 100 . . . most odd numbers are primes . . . except the ones that end in five, like 15, 25, 35, 45 . . . .
Duchess: Arrrrrgh!
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Boxed In
The house is full of boxes. Empty boxes. It should be full of full boxes, but I have been over at the other house painting.
The twins helped me pick out the color for the library. (It was going to be the schoolroom, but doesn't library sound better? Besides, I don't think the piano is going down that hall, so we're going to have to have most of the bookcases in there.) We took a curtain to the hardware store to match. I kept being timid and picking the lighter versions, but they insisted on the more intense. I wanted something warm and honey-colored and so finally I just went with them.
Then I started putting it up on the walls. Against the existing ice blue. It didn't looked honey-colored. It looked orange. (This, by the way, is why I don't bother buying a sample and painting it on the walls. I *still* can't be sure what it will feel like.) I was terrified, but I painted grimly on. I finally got to the rolling part, in which the ducklings gleefully participated (only later did I reflect on just how many tiny spatters I would be scraping off the laminate flooring, but then, they probably weren't any messier than I would have been solo). And behold! When it covered the wall entirely, it was honey-colored and all was well.
Although with that color and the name library, I'm thinking the room really needs a walnut table and some wing-backed leather chairs. But I have a feeling that I'll have to settle for a folding table and chairs for a good long while.
Then I did DOB's new alcove, for which he chose chocolate brown and light gray. It's a bit gloomy, but the brown really is tasty looking. Especially on the trim, which looks pretty much exactly like a very long chocolate bar.
Anyway, it's all mostly done now. At least the part that might be covered up by furniture. Flooring is going down and new wider doors are going in (and I'm sure I won't get *those* painted, but then, they'll never have furniture in the way of painting them).
And now I've really, really got to finish packing. According to the plan, we'll be in the new house by this time next week. I don't see how it will all happen. But it needs to happen.
The twins helped me pick out the color for the library. (It was going to be the schoolroom, but doesn't library sound better? Besides, I don't think the piano is going down that hall, so we're going to have to have most of the bookcases in there.) We took a curtain to the hardware store to match. I kept being timid and picking the lighter versions, but they insisted on the more intense. I wanted something warm and honey-colored and so finally I just went with them.
Then I started putting it up on the walls. Against the existing ice blue. It didn't looked honey-colored. It looked orange. (This, by the way, is why I don't bother buying a sample and painting it on the walls. I *still* can't be sure what it will feel like.) I was terrified, but I painted grimly on. I finally got to the rolling part, in which the ducklings gleefully participated (only later did I reflect on just how many tiny spatters I would be scraping off the laminate flooring, but then, they probably weren't any messier than I would have been solo). And behold! When it covered the wall entirely, it was honey-colored and all was well.
Although with that color and the name library, I'm thinking the room really needs a walnut table and some wing-backed leather chairs. But I have a feeling that I'll have to settle for a folding table and chairs for a good long while.
Then I did DOB's new alcove, for which he chose chocolate brown and light gray. It's a bit gloomy, but the brown really is tasty looking. Especially on the trim, which looks pretty much exactly like a very long chocolate bar.
Anyway, it's all mostly done now. At least the part that might be covered up by furniture. Flooring is going down and new wider doors are going in (and I'm sure I won't get *those* painted, but then, they'll never have furniture in the way of painting them).
And now I've really, really got to finish packing. According to the plan, we'll be in the new house by this time next week. I don't see how it will all happen. But it needs to happen.
Thursday, March 06, 2014
A Sense of Closure
This is the week in which we had Better Close, Or Else. We have permission to stay in this house until the end of the month, but there are several modifications that must be made to the new house before we can move in (ramp, wider doorways, hard flooring). So we need time, and help. And then we have to move itself. This is the first time we have bought and sold all at once and the back-to-back remodeling is grueling.
While waiting around I have been trying to pack, with Rocketboy's help when I can get him. (Wondergirl is also moving this month. And then he's moving after her. And then he starts school.) Progress is slow and boxes are elusive, though family members and friends in distant parts of the country have volunteered them if we come pick them up.
Anyway, we did manage to get documents signed and our current house sold. Right after it closed, the sink clogged completely during the dinner dishes. A late night trip to Walmart for Draino had no effect, other than making the house smell like bleach and shining up the sink.
In the morning His Majesty came and disassembled the plumbing to disclose a mysterious white spongy substance blocking the entire pipe. Then I helped him load the truck to go to the dump. Then I started in on the belated supper and breakfast dishes and started the dishwasher.
Finally we sat down to start school (yes, we're plowing on with school, partly because I'm stubborn that way and partly because it's rainy so what else will keep them out of trouble?) and just as we got some momentum going, the dishwasher started spewing white suds all over the floor. I shoved some towels underneath and we carried on.
Then DOB called to let me know it was time to sign documents for the new house. So I fed the kids a quick lunch and we dashed off and signed away. We returned home and I disassembled the dishwasher enough to clean out the clogged drain and started in on the rest of the dishes. We had snack and story and the kids were settled down to computer time and I was starting supper when I happened to glance at my phone and see I had missed a call much earlier in the afternoon..
I checked my voice mail and it was the title agent. She had skipped having me sign one document. Could I come in and sign it by five? I looked at the clock--it was 4:50. I told the kids to pause everything and get in the car. We zipped out, took the long way around to avoid the left turn of doom at rush hour, and pulled into the title agency with three minutes to spare. The agent had left but someone else found the paper for me.
Then we finally went home again, and found I had even remembered to turn off the stove.
While waiting around I have been trying to pack, with Rocketboy's help when I can get him. (Wondergirl is also moving this month. And then he's moving after her. And then he starts school.) Progress is slow and boxes are elusive, though family members and friends in distant parts of the country have volunteered them if we come pick them up.
Anyway, we did manage to get documents signed and our current house sold. Right after it closed, the sink clogged completely during the dinner dishes. A late night trip to Walmart for Draino had no effect, other than making the house smell like bleach and shining up the sink.
In the morning His Majesty came and disassembled the plumbing to disclose a mysterious white spongy substance blocking the entire pipe. Then I helped him load the truck to go to the dump. Then I started in on the belated supper and breakfast dishes and started the dishwasher.
Finally we sat down to start school (yes, we're plowing on with school, partly because I'm stubborn that way and partly because it's rainy so what else will keep them out of trouble?) and just as we got some momentum going, the dishwasher started spewing white suds all over the floor. I shoved some towels underneath and we carried on.
Then DOB called to let me know it was time to sign documents for the new house. So I fed the kids a quick lunch and we dashed off and signed away. We returned home and I disassembled the dishwasher enough to clean out the clogged drain and started in on the rest of the dishes. We had snack and story and the kids were settled down to computer time and I was starting supper when I happened to glance at my phone and see I had missed a call much earlier in the afternoon..
I checked my voice mail and it was the title agent. She had skipped having me sign one document. Could I come in and sign it by five? I looked at the clock--it was 4:50. I told the kids to pause everything and get in the car. We zipped out, took the long way around to avoid the left turn of doom at rush hour, and pulled into the title agency with three minutes to spare. The agent had left but someone else found the paper for me.
Then we finally went home again, and found I had even remembered to turn off the stove.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Presidents and Denim
We've been working on taking President's Day Weekend as a weekend getaway, thanks to Their Majesties (possibly assisted by Walt Disney and Maxwell Smart). We've done it three years running now, which is pretty impressive. It's a better time than our anniversary, which is in early September, a time when whole-family trips to the beach sound like a good idea. In February, cabin fever makes everyone happier with a break from each other.
It's always been President's Day Weekend with us, back to when we were first courting. We don't do that mushy Valentine stuff. We sit around and talk about dead presidents, as we have done from the first. Indeed, I am reminded of a chat early in our acquaintance. I forget how the topic came up, but DOB asserted that he had learned valuable lessons from each and every president.
"Oh, really?" I replied, "So what did you learn from William Henry Harrison?"
"Don't make a speech in the rain without your hat," he replied.
This year we didn't actually go anywhere--we stayed home and bought flooring while it was on sale at Costco. And we went to used bookstores and I found the entire Kristin Lavransdattr trilogy for $6 and a beautiful copy of Robin Hood and many other fun things.
DOB decided he had better stick to his usual exercise schedule, so while he was at the Y on Monday morning I went to Target and decided to spend some time learning how to find jeans that fit. Someone recently posted a link on how not to buy mom jeans, which I read without much enlightenment. Since I wore grandma jeans as a pre-teen (technically my great-aunt's, but I think that counts), just wearing mom jeans is fashion progress for me. Still, I tried a number of different ones on to see if it would enlighten me.
What I have found is jeans in two categories: the ones that seem to fit OK in the dressing room, but are pinching unpleasantly by the end of the day, or the ones that seem to fit OK in the dressing room, but are sliding down awkwardly by the end of the day (and usually finding somewhere to pinch along the way). Trying on a dozen or so did not reveal any that seemed likely to defy this categorization, but I did definitively decide that jeggings are not for me. (Duchess looks quite good in leggings and long tops, but then, she is nine and streamlined and I am neither.)
Anyway, after all that trying I didn't buy anything, but later we went to the thrift store and I found two pairs of jeans that seemed to work pretty well. One of them pinches a bit at the end of the day and the other one slides down a bit at the end of the day, but they will do. They may or may not be mom jeans. I'm still fuzzy on that concept.
It's always been President's Day Weekend with us, back to when we were first courting. We don't do that mushy Valentine stuff. We sit around and talk about dead presidents, as we have done from the first. Indeed, I am reminded of a chat early in our acquaintance. I forget how the topic came up, but DOB asserted that he had learned valuable lessons from each and every president.
"Oh, really?" I replied, "So what did you learn from William Henry Harrison?"
"Don't make a speech in the rain without your hat," he replied.
This year we didn't actually go anywhere--we stayed home and bought flooring while it was on sale at Costco. And we went to used bookstores and I found the entire Kristin Lavransdattr trilogy for $6 and a beautiful copy of Robin Hood and many other fun things.
DOB decided he had better stick to his usual exercise schedule, so while he was at the Y on Monday morning I went to Target and decided to spend some time learning how to find jeans that fit. Someone recently posted a link on how not to buy mom jeans, which I read without much enlightenment. Since I wore grandma jeans as a pre-teen (technically my great-aunt's, but I think that counts), just wearing mom jeans is fashion progress for me. Still, I tried a number of different ones on to see if it would enlighten me.
What I have found is jeans in two categories: the ones that seem to fit OK in the dressing room, but are pinching unpleasantly by the end of the day, or the ones that seem to fit OK in the dressing room, but are sliding down awkwardly by the end of the day (and usually finding somewhere to pinch along the way). Trying on a dozen or so did not reveal any that seemed likely to defy this categorization, but I did definitively decide that jeggings are not for me. (Duchess looks quite good in leggings and long tops, but then, she is nine and streamlined and I am neither.)
Anyway, after all that trying I didn't buy anything, but later we went to the thrift store and I found two pairs of jeans that seemed to work pretty well. One of them pinches a bit at the end of the day and the other one slides down a bit at the end of the day, but they will do. They may or may not be mom jeans. I'm still fuzzy on that concept.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
The Thing That's Been Keeping Us Up Lately
Because it's always something else's fault that we can never get to bed on time . . . this one, at least, doesn't cry or mess up the carpet.
It's Lutheran Satire. If you're not Lutheran, then you probably won't find it quite as funny. (Indeed, being a different flavor of Lutheran, we don't laugh quite as hard as a few of them. But hey, that's what satire is all about.)
Still, I think almost anyone could appreciate How to Have an Official Position. Or How to Start a Cult. And I am sure it is not only Lutheran pastors who suddenly find themselves part of the Feast of 156th Fruits.
If you're Calvinist, you probably shouldn't watch this one.
It's Lutheran Satire. If you're not Lutheran, then you probably won't find it quite as funny. (Indeed, being a different flavor of Lutheran, we don't laugh quite as hard as a few of them. But hey, that's what satire is all about.)
Still, I think almost anyone could appreciate How to Have an Official Position. Or How to Start a Cult. And I am sure it is not only Lutheran pastors who suddenly find themselves part of the Feast of 156th Fruits.
If you're Calvinist, you probably shouldn't watch this one.
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Democracy on Sale
Democracy the game, that is.
I've never posted about a game before. This is not about my favorite game (that would be the late and much lamented Glitch), nor is it about the game I play the most (that would be Magic: the Gathering in its various forms).
However, this is the first game I've encountered that seemed to have sufficient non-gamer interest to warrant a blog post.
It is, as you might suspect, a game that simulates politics. You get a country with taxes, policies already implemented, policies you might implement, voters with various degrees of commitment to various philosophies and interest groups. And you have to try to keep the country going and make yourself popular enough to get reelected while taking into account that every policy change will have all sorts of consequences, and they're never all good.
You can adjust the philosophy of your voters on two continua: economic (socialist--capitalist) and social (liberal--conservative). You can also adjust the difficulty level, which is good because on the normal setting you start with everyone hating you and a large deficit.
Of course analyzing the accuracy of the simulation is half the fun. Compared to real life, it's way oversimplified. And you never get a chance to get up and explain to everyone why your wonderful policy would be such a great idea (or even make up your own policy, unless you know how to do mods, which I certainly don't).
Still, there's plenty of things that seem pretty accurate. Such as the way *nobody* cares that you balance the budget. I'm so good at balancing the budget, and no one even notices. Except those nasty credit rating bureaus. However, debt spiral is no fun at all. And it's pretty hard to keep the budget balanced and the socialists happy.
There are many various goals to seek, extremes of one policy style or another. This is a lot of fun. "Bwahahaha! I've turned Germany into a police state! I gave everybody school lunches and nobody blinked at the universal wire tapping!" "I've diminished the Canadian military to "ceremonial" status. They don't need a military, do they? Isn't that what the US is for?" (Note: Do NOT try to eliminate the US military. It's too big of a chunk of the economy and the whole country falls apart.)
The people who do know how to create mods have created models for even more countries, such as Greece and Albania. However, for now, it's plenty hard enough to govern Canada and Australia.
I've never posted about a game before. This is not about my favorite game (that would be the late and much lamented Glitch), nor is it about the game I play the most (that would be Magic: the Gathering in its various forms).
However, this is the first game I've encountered that seemed to have sufficient non-gamer interest to warrant a blog post.
It is, as you might suspect, a game that simulates politics. You get a country with taxes, policies already implemented, policies you might implement, voters with various degrees of commitment to various philosophies and interest groups. And you have to try to keep the country going and make yourself popular enough to get reelected while taking into account that every policy change will have all sorts of consequences, and they're never all good.
You can adjust the philosophy of your voters on two continua: economic (socialist--capitalist) and social (liberal--conservative). You can also adjust the difficulty level, which is good because on the normal setting you start with everyone hating you and a large deficit.
Of course analyzing the accuracy of the simulation is half the fun. Compared to real life, it's way oversimplified. And you never get a chance to get up and explain to everyone why your wonderful policy would be such a great idea (or even make up your own policy, unless you know how to do mods, which I certainly don't).
Still, there's plenty of things that seem pretty accurate. Such as the way *nobody* cares that you balance the budget. I'm so good at balancing the budget, and no one even notices. Except those nasty credit rating bureaus. However, debt spiral is no fun at all. And it's pretty hard to keep the budget balanced and the socialists happy.
There are many various goals to seek, extremes of one policy style or another. This is a lot of fun. "Bwahahaha! I've turned Germany into a police state! I gave everybody school lunches and nobody blinked at the universal wire tapping!" "I've diminished the Canadian military to "ceremonial" status. They don't need a military, do they? Isn't that what the US is for?" (Note: Do NOT try to eliminate the US military. It's too big of a chunk of the economy and the whole country falls apart.)
The people who do know how to create mods have created models for even more countries, such as Greece and Albania. However, for now, it's plenty hard enough to govern Canada and Australia.
Monday, February 10, 2014
The Well at the World's End
If folk tales can be divided by age group, then The Well at the World's End is definitely a "youth" tale: the king's youngest son sets forth on a quest, finds a bride, and returns home in triumph.* Only it's a whole lot longer than the longest fairy tale.
The Well at the World's End (the location, not the book) is a surprisingly modest goal: it doesn't convey immortality or invincibility. Some people, apparently, have made the journey and returned home only to get promptly stabbed in the back. At best it conveys, in role-playing terms, a bonus to all stats: those who drink of it are stronger, healthier, longer-lived, healed of all past hurts, more loved by their friends and feared by their foes, better-looking, and just plain luckier. If you go when old, it will make you young again. But given the rigors of the trip (which, after all, takes you out to the world's end), few can make it in old age, so it seems safer to go while young. (Technically you can go back indefinitely, but few seem to manage that feat, even should they wish it.)
Ralph himself seems to be luck's darling before the trip begins, not to mention so handsome he practically has to beat women off with a stick, but that's the way of it. You can't even make it to the well unless you already have a lot of advantages. The Well is not an equal-opportunity quest. (Ursula, though not royalty, is certainly not without advantages either.) The question is not, can everybody get there, but what do those who get there do with it?
At one point on their journey, a sage who has made the trek himself gives them a caution before guidance:
In other words . . . don't let this quest go to your head. Come back home and live a good life. And in the end, that is what they do--Ralph returns to his little home kingdom, clears out the robbers, and takes back on the tasks he fled from at the beginning of the book. In the end, what the great quest equips him for is simply to do his duty.
At the same time, there's a subtle counterpoint story that is more of a midlife tale. At the beginning of his quest, Ralph is given a set of beads that will serve as a talisman to guide him, a gift from his "gossip" Katherine. ("Gossip" is, apparently, an obsolete word for "godmother," and Morris won't use a modern word when he can dig up an obsolete one.) Katherine is no elderly fairy, but the middle-aged wife of a local merchant, who held Ralph as a baby when she was a teenaged bride, and retains for him an affection that is a trifle too warm to be strictly maternal. She's had no children and although she and her husband are fond of each other, there's a hint that the humdrumness of their life is wearing on her. She's still pretty and strong and active enough to take her turn on the walls when the city is threatened, but you can feel the big 4-0 is staring her in the face.
When Ralph comes back in triumph with his new bride, she tells the story of the beads . . . how she obtained them, how she was to give them to a man not of her blood in need and they would lead him to the Well at the World's Men. She'd tried to give them to her husband, Clement, a few times, but he thought the whole thing was a myth (though he later gave much help to Ralph in his quest) and preferred to stick to his regular merchant runs. And so they were saved and given at last to Ralph, who was young and crazy enough to think the tales true.
After the great battle when Ralph sweeps away the invaders and restores the kingdom, he runs to tell her the news.
* There are also midlife tales, which tend to be about losing the magic of youth, and elder tales, which I think are about dying. And, although I've never seen anyone else use this classification, there are nursery tales, which, in contrast to the message to the youths: "Go forth and seek your fortune," convey the message to smaller children: "If you go out in the world, things are going to try to EAT you."
The Well at the World's End (the location, not the book) is a surprisingly modest goal: it doesn't convey immortality or invincibility. Some people, apparently, have made the journey and returned home only to get promptly stabbed in the back. At best it conveys, in role-playing terms, a bonus to all stats: those who drink of it are stronger, healthier, longer-lived, healed of all past hurts, more loved by their friends and feared by their foes, better-looking, and just plain luckier. If you go when old, it will make you young again. But given the rigors of the trip (which, after all, takes you out to the world's end), few can make it in old age, so it seems safer to go while young. (Technically you can go back indefinitely, but few seem to manage that feat, even should they wish it.)
Ralph himself seems to be luck's darling before the trip begins, not to mention so handsome he practically has to beat women off with a stick, but that's the way of it. You can't even make it to the well unless you already have a lot of advantages. The Well is not an equal-opportunity quest. (Ursula, though not royalty, is certainly not without advantages either.) The question is not, can everybody get there, but what do those who get there do with it?
At one point on their journey, a sage who has made the trek himself gives them a caution before guidance:
"I will say this much unto you; that if ye love not the earth and the world with all your souls, and will not strive all ye may to be frank and happy therein, your toil and peril aforesaid shall win you no blessing but a curse. Therefore I bid you be no tyrants or builders of cities for merchants and usurers and warriors and thralls . . . But rather I bid you to live in peace and patience without fear or hatred, and to succour the oppressed and love the lovely, and to be the friends of men, so that when ye are dead at last, men may say of you, they brought down Heaven to the Earth for a little while."
In other words . . . don't let this quest go to your head. Come back home and live a good life. And in the end, that is what they do--Ralph returns to his little home kingdom, clears out the robbers, and takes back on the tasks he fled from at the beginning of the book. In the end, what the great quest equips him for is simply to do his duty.
At the same time, there's a subtle counterpoint story that is more of a midlife tale. At the beginning of his quest, Ralph is given a set of beads that will serve as a talisman to guide him, a gift from his "gossip" Katherine. ("Gossip" is, apparently, an obsolete word for "godmother," and Morris won't use a modern word when he can dig up an obsolete one.) Katherine is no elderly fairy, but the middle-aged wife of a local merchant, who held Ralph as a baby when she was a teenaged bride, and retains for him an affection that is a trifle too warm to be strictly maternal. She's had no children and although she and her husband are fond of each other, there's a hint that the humdrumness of their life is wearing on her. She's still pretty and strong and active enough to take her turn on the walls when the city is threatened, but you can feel the big 4-0 is staring her in the face.
When Ralph comes back in triumph with his new bride, she tells the story of the beads . . . how she obtained them, how she was to give them to a man not of her blood in need and they would lead him to the Well at the World's Men. She'd tried to give them to her husband, Clement, a few times, but he thought the whole thing was a myth (though he later gave much help to Ralph in his quest) and preferred to stick to his regular merchant runs. And so they were saved and given at last to Ralph, who was young and crazy enough to think the tales true.
After the great battle when Ralph sweeps away the invaders and restores the kingdom, he runs to tell her the news.
Quoth Ralph, "Rejoice, gossip! for neither is Clement hurt, nor I, and all is done that should be done."Behind the scenes of Ralph's youthful triumphs, Katherine must come to terms with the end of her own youth; that fairy-tale romances and quests out of dreams are past for her, but she can take it with good grace and pass on what she could not use herself. She puts off meeting Ursula at first, but in the end, it says, " . . . she loved and cherished Ursula and lived long in health of body and mind."
She moved but little, but the tears came into her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.
"What, gossip?" quoth Ralph, "these be scarce tears of joy; what aileth thee?"
"Nay," said Katherine, "Indeed I am joyful of thy tidings, though sooth to say I looked for none other. But dear lord and gossip, forgive me my tears on the day of triumph; for if they be not wholly of joy, so also are they not wholly of sorrow. But love and the passing of the days are bittersweet within my heart to-day. Later on thou shalt see few faces more cheerful and merry in the hall at Upmeads than this of thy gossip's."
* There are also midlife tales, which tend to be about losing the magic of youth, and elder tales, which I think are about dying. And, although I've never seen anyone else use this classification, there are nursery tales, which, in contrast to the message to the youths: "Go forth and seek your fortune," convey the message to smaller children: "If you go out in the world, things are going to try to EAT you."
Saturday, February 08, 2014
Color Me Incompetent
I come from a line of women who can decorate. You know, the kind of people who can take a room and make it look like everything is supposed to be there, instead of like some random furniture was taking a walk and paused to catch their breath. The kind of people who can make colors who weren't on speaking terms sit down to tea together. And take eclectic and turn it into a style.
I wouldn't say I completely missed out on this talent. At least I got enough to be discontent when the walls are plain white. But somehow things never come out on the walls they way they do in my head. When I put a bunch of mismatched furniture together, it doesn't look "eclectic," it looks "bunch of mismatched furniture." When I put colors together, instead of reinforcing and highlighting, they just glare sullenly at each other.
But hope springs eternal and every house is a new chance. I wasn't going to paint anything at the new house just yet, as the walls are in good shape and resources need to be devoted to the flooring and door widths, but then I realized that the room that is ideal for the schoolroom is also painted powder blue. While I can tolerate plain white with sufficient stuff on the walls, powder blue I cannot tolerate anywhere for any length of time. So I'm going to try again, and see if this time I can get a color on the walls that doesn't turn into something else as soon as I get it up there.
I try reading books about color design, but they all start out with the first-grade color wheel, and then they start talking about how colors next to the main color can coordinate, or colors on the opposite side, and then my eyes glaze over when they start talking about hue and saturation and I go away with the impression that you can put together pretty much anything and it will look great in a decorating book and terrible in my living room.
One thing I haven't actually tried yet that I do have some hope in: I'm going to try matching my paint chips to the curtains and pictures I already like. It doesn't require me to read about hue and saturation, for one thing.
I wouldn't say I completely missed out on this talent. At least I got enough to be discontent when the walls are plain white. But somehow things never come out on the walls they way they do in my head. When I put a bunch of mismatched furniture together, it doesn't look "eclectic," it looks "bunch of mismatched furniture." When I put colors together, instead of reinforcing and highlighting, they just glare sullenly at each other.
But hope springs eternal and every house is a new chance. I wasn't going to paint anything at the new house just yet, as the walls are in good shape and resources need to be devoted to the flooring and door widths, but then I realized that the room that is ideal for the schoolroom is also painted powder blue. While I can tolerate plain white with sufficient stuff on the walls, powder blue I cannot tolerate anywhere for any length of time. So I'm going to try again, and see if this time I can get a color on the walls that doesn't turn into something else as soon as I get it up there.
I try reading books about color design, but they all start out with the first-grade color wheel, and then they start talking about how colors next to the main color can coordinate, or colors on the opposite side, and then my eyes glaze over when they start talking about hue and saturation and I go away with the impression that you can put together pretty much anything and it will look great in a decorating book and terrible in my living room.
One thing I haven't actually tried yet that I do have some hope in: I'm going to try matching my paint chips to the curtains and pictures I already like. It doesn't require me to read about hue and saturation, for one thing.
Thursday, February 06, 2014
We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Programming . . .
If
the words “Bill Gothard,” “IBLP,” or “ATI,” don’t mean anything to you,
skip this and I will return to the regularly-scheduled programming of
kid quotes and domestic disasters tomorrow.
If they do, then let me preface this by saying I know that many good things have come out of this program. Hey, I’m one of them. There were many good people involved who sincerely wanted to serve God. There were some teachings that, on their face, sounded helpful. And I know there’s a place for private confrontation and private repentance and not spreading unnecessary gossip.
But when someone has engaged in a pattern of abusive conduct for decades, unmarked by any genuine repentance, despite countless attempts to confront them privately, and when, at the same time, their core teachings are a false gospel that has been destructive to many lives . . . then it is time to speak up and put a stop to it.
If my parents had been aware, back in 1980, of the true scope of the scandal that was hushed up then, I don’t think they would have continued their involvement. Unfortunately, it was successfully hushed up and now there are dozens of witnesses over multiple decades to the same pattern of misconduct. Thousands of witnesses to the damage of the false gospel. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
I’m including two links. One is one (of many) victims of the misconduct—with corroborating testimony by someone I know personally. (There are many, many more parallel stories on the site—this is not an isolated tale-bearer.) The other is my own testimony of the effects of the bad teaching. (And again, there are many, many more on the site.)
http://
http://
If they do, then let me preface this by saying I know that many good things have come out of this program. Hey, I’m one of them. There were many good people involved who sincerely wanted to serve God. There were some teachings that, on their face, sounded helpful. And I know there’s a place for private confrontation and private repentance and not spreading unnecessary gossip.
But when someone has engaged in a pattern of abusive conduct for decades, unmarked by any genuine repentance, despite countless attempts to confront them privately, and when, at the same time, their core teachings are a false gospel that has been destructive to many lives . . . then it is time to speak up and put a stop to it.
If my parents had been aware, back in 1980, of the true scope of the scandal that was hushed up then, I don’t think they would have continued their involvement. Unfortunately, it was successfully hushed up and now there are dozens of witnesses over multiple decades to the same pattern of misconduct. Thousands of witnesses to the damage of the false gospel. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
I’m including two links. One is one (of many) victims of the misconduct—with corroborating testimony by someone I know personally. (There are many, many more parallel stories on the site—this is not an isolated tale-bearer.) The other is my own testimony of the effects of the bad teaching. (And again, there are many, many more on the site.)
http://
http://
Friday, January 31, 2014
A Book Post to Fill Space
It is the last day of January and I have not yet filled my goal of two posts per week, nor have I made as many posts as last January.
So I will write about books, which are handy, but which I have always felt rather shy about posting about.
Books Read in January:
The Lost Gate and The Gate Thief by Orson Scott Card
Quite enjoyable new fantasy series I picked up on a whim at the library. Looking forward to reading the third.
Areopagitica by John Milton. Read on Diary of an Autodidact's recommendation. I really enjoyed it. 17th and 18th century English political writings are sort of weird comfort reads for me. Despite the hopelessly obscure title, it's an excellent defense of freedom of the press whose arguments foreshadow many later incarnations and a sterling example of the kind of gentle and reasoned argument that seems to be forever gone from politics.
The Year of the Boat by Lawrence Cheek. This was for the church's book club (a selection strongly influenced by the utter lack of old people with Alzheimer's, which featured too prominently in some of last year's selections). On the one hand I felt considerable sympathy with the struggles of a clumsy wordsmith to construct something in the real world. And who does not love a sailboat? On the other hand, I found it full of the sort of pretentious navel-gazing I would expect from a suburban Seattleite. Who cares if your wooden boat building is a morally significant activity? You are not a significant person. Just build the boat and stop angsting over it.
Books Still In Process at the end of January:
The Living Page by Laurie Bestvater. This is my schoolteacher read, as recommended by Brandy at Afterthoughts and others on Charlotte Mason lists. It's about using notebooks in education. I'm only mediocre at notebook use. For one thing, I can never find a pen that matches and then I get annoyed at the mismatched pen color. But I am trying to start my own commonplace book again and we have actually done some quite nice work in timeline books this year.
The Nothing that Is. I think Diary of an Autodidact's suggestion, also. History of the concept of zero. I always enjoy books about math that don't require me to do actual calculations.
Our Culture, What's Left of It. by Theodore Dalrymple. Classic curmudgeonliness for modern times, and in a culture where people still confuse change with progress, a good dose of curmudgeonliness is always necessary. I saw this on someone's blog, but I forget whose.
The Well at the World's End, by William Morris. Saw this mentioned on a Facebook discussion of influential fantasy novels. Slow to start and sometimes that 19th century faux medieval language gets old, but increasingly gripping as it goes on. Some amazing writing and characterization under the quaint words. I may do a full blog post on this one, when I get to the end. It makes me want to reread George MacDonald's Phantases, a book of similar vintage that I read a long time ago and probably wasn't ready to understand yet.
Paradise Lost, by John Milton. Since I had the Milton volume down anyway, and since we are reading about his era in school, I thought it was time to tackle this. Long poetry intimidates me and I'm not so good at reading it; I start skimming and then I realize I've read twenty lines and have no idea what's going on. However, there are certainly some striking lines in here and vivid pictures (and a bewildering heap of mythical allusions; however, no one could have figured the place of sin so vividly and nastily without them). I haven't decided if he paints Satan too much the hero; I think he rather realizes it, but also realizes that all good things come from God and Satan couldn't do much if he didn't retain many admirable qualities after his fall. But we'll see how it unfolds.
So I will write about books, which are handy, but which I have always felt rather shy about posting about.
Books Read in January:
The Lost Gate and The Gate Thief by Orson Scott Card
Quite enjoyable new fantasy series I picked up on a whim at the library. Looking forward to reading the third.
Areopagitica by John Milton. Read on Diary of an Autodidact's recommendation. I really enjoyed it. 17th and 18th century English political writings are sort of weird comfort reads for me. Despite the hopelessly obscure title, it's an excellent defense of freedom of the press whose arguments foreshadow many later incarnations and a sterling example of the kind of gentle and reasoned argument that seems to be forever gone from politics.
The Year of the Boat by Lawrence Cheek. This was for the church's book club (a selection strongly influenced by the utter lack of old people with Alzheimer's, which featured too prominently in some of last year's selections). On the one hand I felt considerable sympathy with the struggles of a clumsy wordsmith to construct something in the real world. And who does not love a sailboat? On the other hand, I found it full of the sort of pretentious navel-gazing I would expect from a suburban Seattleite. Who cares if your wooden boat building is a morally significant activity? You are not a significant person. Just build the boat and stop angsting over it.
Books Still In Process at the end of January:
The Living Page by Laurie Bestvater. This is my schoolteacher read, as recommended by Brandy at Afterthoughts and others on Charlotte Mason lists. It's about using notebooks in education. I'm only mediocre at notebook use. For one thing, I can never find a pen that matches and then I get annoyed at the mismatched pen color. But I am trying to start my own commonplace book again and we have actually done some quite nice work in timeline books this year.
The Nothing that Is. I think Diary of an Autodidact's suggestion, also. History of the concept of zero. I always enjoy books about math that don't require me to do actual calculations.
Our Culture, What's Left of It. by Theodore Dalrymple. Classic curmudgeonliness for modern times, and in a culture where people still confuse change with progress, a good dose of curmudgeonliness is always necessary. I saw this on someone's blog, but I forget whose.
The Well at the World's End, by William Morris. Saw this mentioned on a Facebook discussion of influential fantasy novels. Slow to start and sometimes that 19th century faux medieval language gets old, but increasingly gripping as it goes on. Some amazing writing and characterization under the quaint words. I may do a full blog post on this one, when I get to the end. It makes me want to reread George MacDonald's Phantases, a book of similar vintage that I read a long time ago and probably wasn't ready to understand yet.
Paradise Lost, by John Milton. Since I had the Milton volume down anyway, and since we are reading about his era in school, I thought it was time to tackle this. Long poetry intimidates me and I'm not so good at reading it; I start skimming and then I realize I've read twenty lines and have no idea what's going on. However, there are certainly some striking lines in here and vivid pictures (and a bewildering heap of mythical allusions; however, no one could have figured the place of sin so vividly and nastily without them). I haven't decided if he paints Satan too much the hero; I think he rather realizes it, but also realizes that all good things come from God and Satan couldn't do much if he didn't retain many admirable qualities after his fall. But we'll see how it unfolds.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Home Improvement
One of the joys of selling a house is finally being required to do all that stuff you vowed you'd do to the house when you moved in.
This is the first time we have moved straight from one house to another, so there is also all the stuff to be dealt with before moving in: quite a bit in this case, because of the need to make the entrance and master bedroom and bathroom wheelchair accessible, at a minimum. There are a lot of other things that would be nice to do, but can wait, like putting a full bath in the master bedroom or repainting the hideous 80s dark wood flat-front cabinets.
DOB proposed that we divide and conquer--I would handle the old house (a few random handyman projects that I could either do or be here when kind friends and relations came to help with) and he would handle the new house (getting bids, making lots of decisions, and hunting up funds). It was a logical system, but the lines invariably blur somewhat.
I am not handy. This is not a gender thing, it's a complete physical ineptitude thing. Still, I want to do my part, besides just calling people up and fixing sandwiches. For the most part, I stuck to demolition. I managed to rip out the old wallboard in the basement stairwell without poking through into the laundry room or breaking my leg on the stairs, so that was an accomplishment. Also it involved burying two rats that had drowned in one of the garbage cans.
Two more big-ticket projects were replacing a broken window and painting under the eaves. Fortunately a friend suggested I check out the Habitat for Humanity store and there was, amazingly enough, a window that almost exactly fit in our very strangely-sized window slot for a third of the price of the special order from the hardware store. Also cheap paint in a color that didn't match, but no color would have matched. The color of our house is unique in human history. So it all came out much cheaper, which always makes me happy.
For a few brief moments I felt the glow of handiness and visions of improvements on the new house, planned and undertaken solely by me, danced in my head.
Then I returned to earth, where the children had reorganized the house, there was nothing to eat, and I was so exhausted I wanted to spend the entire next week in bed. I may decide that 80s dark wood cabinets are just fine.
This is the first time we have moved straight from one house to another, so there is also all the stuff to be dealt with before moving in: quite a bit in this case, because of the need to make the entrance and master bedroom and bathroom wheelchair accessible, at a minimum. There are a lot of other things that would be nice to do, but can wait, like putting a full bath in the master bedroom or repainting the hideous 80s dark wood flat-front cabinets.
DOB proposed that we divide and conquer--I would handle the old house (a few random handyman projects that I could either do or be here when kind friends and relations came to help with) and he would handle the new house (getting bids, making lots of decisions, and hunting up funds). It was a logical system, but the lines invariably blur somewhat.
I am not handy. This is not a gender thing, it's a complete physical ineptitude thing. Still, I want to do my part, besides just calling people up and fixing sandwiches. For the most part, I stuck to demolition. I managed to rip out the old wallboard in the basement stairwell without poking through into the laundry room or breaking my leg on the stairs, so that was an accomplishment. Also it involved burying two rats that had drowned in one of the garbage cans.
Two more big-ticket projects were replacing a broken window and painting under the eaves. Fortunately a friend suggested I check out the Habitat for Humanity store and there was, amazingly enough, a window that almost exactly fit in our very strangely-sized window slot for a third of the price of the special order from the hardware store. Also cheap paint in a color that didn't match, but no color would have matched. The color of our house is unique in human history. So it all came out much cheaper, which always makes me happy.
For a few brief moments I felt the glow of handiness and visions of improvements on the new house, planned and undertaken solely by me, danced in my head.
Then I returned to earth, where the children had reorganized the house, there was nothing to eat, and I was so exhausted I wanted to spend the entire next week in bed. I may decide that 80s dark wood cabinets are just fine.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
The Presence of Children
There were a few posts that were arousing lively discussion on Facebook feeds this week. I'm not going to bother to look up links, because if you were lucky and missed them, you have undoubtedly seen their like. One was a columnist whining about how his extremely expensive dinner was interrupted because some fellow diners had the gall to bring their 8 month old along, and the baby cried. Another was some random blogger ranting about how she despised people who had children because that was, like, so lame. (OK, I confess, I didn't even bother to read that one.)
That doesn't really concern me. There are always going to be some cranks in the world who cannot stand being made aware that other people are doing their part to perpetuate the species. What bothers me is the number of conscientious parents who respond with statements that amount to, "I would never inflict my children on other people."
Not just explaining that they taught their children to behave in public . . . no, acting as if they must apologize for their children's mere presence, and keep them out of the way of other people and never, ever expect other people to suffer even a moment's awareness of their children's existence, in any setting not specially designated as being for children. Asserting that they understood that just staying home and away from various settings was the price they paid for indulging in having children in the first place. Claiming that it would be "selfish" to expect other people to deal with the presence of their children.
This is itself a symptom that many good and dedicated parents have internalized the message that children are a private hobby of the parents, for which they alone are responsible, and with which they alone must concern themselves. But children are not puppies nor appendages of their parents. They're people in their own right. If they are in a public setting, whether onlookers think it was wise to bring a child to that place or not, it is only asking simple human courtesy to expect them to be treated with decency and respect, instead of resentful glares.
I don't take my children to fancy restaurants or symphony concerts because fancy restaurants and symphony concerts aren't my thing . . . but if they were, I certainly would. How do we expect to perpetuate our culture if we exclude the next generation from participation? You only learn culture by participating in it; if you wait until people are cultured enough to participate, it will already be too late as they will have been getting used to something else in the meantime.
People may rightly complain about the bad behavior of some children; honestly I see more parents feeling a need to crack down on their children than I see children running wild, but I'm sure there are some hooligans. But in a way, this private hobby approach to child-rearing only makes the problem worse. Modern parenting is a lonely job. Facing skeptics at every turn only makes it worse. It's hard to stage a production when everyone's a critic instead of a support cast.
What I don't understand is why there should ever be this hostility. I certainly don't look down on people who don't have children--my children's lives and my own are richer for knowing other adults whose lives are not consumed with child-rearing. My children are better behaved for being reminded of proper behavior from other adults--when their right to exist and be present is not questioned. And the people I know in real life without children, unlike the internet cranks, seem to appreciate the fact that other people are making sure they don't have to grow old on an empty planet.
And here's something I will bother to link to: G. K. Chesterton (who, by the way, never had children) on Baby Worship.
That doesn't really concern me. There are always going to be some cranks in the world who cannot stand being made aware that other people are doing their part to perpetuate the species. What bothers me is the number of conscientious parents who respond with statements that amount to, "I would never inflict my children on other people."
Not just explaining that they taught their children to behave in public . . . no, acting as if they must apologize for their children's mere presence, and keep them out of the way of other people and never, ever expect other people to suffer even a moment's awareness of their children's existence, in any setting not specially designated as being for children. Asserting that they understood that just staying home and away from various settings was the price they paid for indulging in having children in the first place. Claiming that it would be "selfish" to expect other people to deal with the presence of their children.
This is itself a symptom that many good and dedicated parents have internalized the message that children are a private hobby of the parents, for which they alone are responsible, and with which they alone must concern themselves. But children are not puppies nor appendages of their parents. They're people in their own right. If they are in a public setting, whether onlookers think it was wise to bring a child to that place or not, it is only asking simple human courtesy to expect them to be treated with decency and respect, instead of resentful glares.
I don't take my children to fancy restaurants or symphony concerts because fancy restaurants and symphony concerts aren't my thing . . . but if they were, I certainly would. How do we expect to perpetuate our culture if we exclude the next generation from participation? You only learn culture by participating in it; if you wait until people are cultured enough to participate, it will already be too late as they will have been getting used to something else in the meantime.
People may rightly complain about the bad behavior of some children; honestly I see more parents feeling a need to crack down on their children than I see children running wild, but I'm sure there are some hooligans. But in a way, this private hobby approach to child-rearing only makes the problem worse. Modern parenting is a lonely job. Facing skeptics at every turn only makes it worse. It's hard to stage a production when everyone's a critic instead of a support cast.
What I don't understand is why there should ever be this hostility. I certainly don't look down on people who don't have children--my children's lives and my own are richer for knowing other adults whose lives are not consumed with child-rearing. My children are better behaved for being reminded of proper behavior from other adults--when their right to exist and be present is not questioned. And the people I know in real life without children, unlike the internet cranks, seem to appreciate the fact that other people are making sure they don't have to grow old on an empty planet.
And here's something I will bother to link to: G. K. Chesterton (who, by the way, never had children) on Baby Worship.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Push! Push!
When I was in labor with Duchess, and had been pushing for an hour or so, I got rather tired of the whole process (no wonder, I'd been at it for three days!) I finally begged the doctor, "Can't we *please* make it stop for a while?"
She just said, "You're not going to feel any better until you get this baby out." And I got back to work.
Looking back to 2009, I can see that selling a house *always* reminds me of labor. I can't believe, looking back to 2009, that we did weeks of showings with four preschoolers. I am deeply grateful that we only needed one this time. And that we found a house to move to so quickly.
Two weeks from first talking to our agent we had a contract to sell and a contract to buy. The new house will be closer to the freeway, has a master suite at one end of the house, an open floor plan for the main living area, and a two-bedroom, one bath, big playroom kid zone upstairs over the garage. It's twice the size and twice the yard of this house (and twice the price, but what does one expect?)
Even everything going smoothly is almost too much. For months now, we've been just barely surviving. But there was no way to make things better without moving. And there is no way for moving to be completely stress-free. So, nothing to do but push and keep pushing. And hope it really does make things better.
Because nothing can fix everything. Not walking is still not walking, and it's still a completely different world than not walking very much. Right now, we just are hoping for a place where we can sometimes think about something else.
She just said, "You're not going to feel any better until you get this baby out." And I got back to work.
Looking back to 2009, I can see that selling a house *always* reminds me of labor. I can't believe, looking back to 2009, that we did weeks of showings with four preschoolers. I am deeply grateful that we only needed one this time. And that we found a house to move to so quickly.
Two weeks from first talking to our agent we had a contract to sell and a contract to buy. The new house will be closer to the freeway, has a master suite at one end of the house, an open floor plan for the main living area, and a two-bedroom, one bath, big playroom kid zone upstairs over the garage. It's twice the size and twice the yard of this house (and twice the price, but what does one expect?)
Even everything going smoothly is almost too much. For months now, we've been just barely surviving. But there was no way to make things better without moving. And there is no way for moving to be completely stress-free. So, nothing to do but push and keep pushing. And hope it really does make things better.
Because nothing can fix everything. Not walking is still not walking, and it's still a completely different world than not walking very much. Right now, we just are hoping for a place where we can sometimes think about something else.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
A List of Good Manners
The ducklings have been compiling this on the board:
1 don't talk with your mouth full
2 say "Excuse me" when you leave the table
3. be quiet in the house
4. don't put your elbows on the table while your eating
5. chew with your mouth closed
6. don't turn lights off on people
7. don't walk into the bathroom on people
8. do your chores without wining
9. sit in your chair during the meal
10. don't stuff your mouth during a meal
11. say "please" when you ask for something
12. Say "Thank you" when somone gives you something
So now you know how to behave around here.
1 don't talk with your mouth full
2 say "Excuse me" when you leave the table
3. be quiet in the house
4. don't put your elbows on the table while your eating
5. chew with your mouth closed
6. don't turn lights off on people
7. don't walk into the bathroom on people
8. do your chores without wining
9. sit in your chair during the meal
10. don't stuff your mouth during a meal
11. say "please" when you ask for something
12. Say "Thank you" when somone gives you something
So now you know how to behave around here.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Run for your life
Why yes, I am going to bother to deconstruct a harmless Facebook meme, why did you ask?
This cropped up in my news feed a couple of times last week, posted by some very well-meaning and nice people:
Now, what's wrong with this? Rather a nice idea. Keep God first, and all that.
Well, for starters, it suggests that marriage (and relationships leading thereto) are for spiritual overachievers. First get your spiritual life in order, then find someone. (Without actually looking for anyone, because that would be unspiritual. It has to look like an accident.)
It's the churchy parallel to the theme in our culture: get your financial life in order, your career started, your nice house bought, then get married. Marriage becomes the crowning achievement of personal and spiritual life.
Except for the most part it works better the other way: Marriage helps people behave in responsible ways, leading them to greater financial stability and spiritual involvement. (Indeed, does the Bible ever suggest spiritual maturity is an essential prerequisite for getting married? Kind of the opposite--it suggests that having trouble keeping your pants zipped is the primary reason for getting married.) Raise the bar for marriage too high and you prevent the very goal you're trying to achieve.
Now, it is helpful to date and marry someone with some basic shared values. That's just common sense. If you want to raise orphans in Africa dating someone who yearns after the corporate high life is not going to work out well. But spirituality is not a competitive sport.
And that's the deeper problem--the idea that we can somehow chart our own or someone else's spiritual growth and measure how close we are getting to God. That our spirituality is measured by the intensity of our efforts. That we should reject as inferior anyone who can't keep up with us. When in fact the intensity of our efforts may be leading us farther from resting in God. And the more spiritual we think we are, the more in danger we are.
Paul spoke of running the race, but he never suggested that the race was a contest to get closer to God--Jesus ran it too, and he already *was* God. The race is just the journey of life, and God is already with us on that one.
Just as a practical measure, it's not that great of advice for young people. If you've been on the planet long enough you've known people--probably lots of people--who were all set to be spiritual superstars in the early years, but who burned out, washed up, or just walked away. (And on the other hand people who came to spiritual devotion late but strong.) The intensity of a person's visible fervor at 21 is not a strong indicator of what kind of partner they'll be in twenty years. Really, none of us know this for ourselves, either.
I wish I could come up with some sort of pithy counterstatement, but I'm no good at dating advice. Although "It is better to marry than to burn" could possibly serve as a Facebook meme. With the right picture.
Tuesday, January 07, 2014
On the Move
I thought I might set a goal of blogging twice a week this year, which would double my posts over last year.
I'm already behind. Also, I haven't started on any of the end of year and end of quarter paperwork which is the (very, very) dreary side effect of having my own practice.
On the other hand, I *did* clean and reorganize the house from top to bottom last weekend, which wasn't on the schedule at all. DOB thought it was time to start looking at selling our house so we can move to or build one in which he can get to the bathroom without summoning assistance. The real estate agent (who sold us this house) said, "Actually I know somebody who is looking for a house just like that. How about Monday?" So we'll see if it works out. Otherwise I have to *keep* things clean, which is nearly as bad.
Someday, I'm going to deep clean the house without having to move out of it. But first I think I'd have to live there more than three years. Maybe this will be the time. Or rather, the time after this, since we're probably going to rent for awhile.
I'm already behind. Also, I haven't started on any of the end of year and end of quarter paperwork which is the (very, very) dreary side effect of having my own practice.
On the other hand, I *did* clean and reorganize the house from top to bottom last weekend, which wasn't on the schedule at all. DOB thought it was time to start looking at selling our house so we can move to or build one in which he can get to the bathroom without summoning assistance. The real estate agent (who sold us this house) said, "Actually I know somebody who is looking for a house just like that. How about Monday?" So we'll see if it works out. Otherwise I have to *keep* things clean, which is nearly as bad.
Someday, I'm going to deep clean the house without having to move out of it. But first I think I'd have to live there more than three years. Maybe this will be the time. Or rather, the time after this, since we're probably going to rent for awhile.
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