Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Sleep Lottery

Lottery isn't the right term. As DOB points out, if it really was a one-in-two-million chance of getting a decent night's sleep I wouldn't have made it this far. It's more of a casino game: every once in awhile you get a big payout, but you know in the long run the house will always win.

Every night I go in, nurse the babies one last time, check to make sure the big kids are each asleep in their own beds, and leave with the suspense: Will it be tonight? Will I really get to sleep all night long? Or will there be wails at 2 a.m.? Lost water cups? Stuffed up noses? Or . . . the 800-lb. gorilla . . . a sodden bed? More irritatingly, will all the kids sleep while I lie awake in the throes of a new idea? (Some people get insomnia from worry and despair, I get it from . . . well, any thoughts really. My brain doesn't like being turned off.)

Sleep is like money in another way. As long as you're racking up the debt, you don't really notice it. It's when you start trying to pay it down that you realize just how big it is.

1 comment:

Aimee said...

boy do I hear you on this one. totally true about not noticing how bad the deprivation is until you start getting a little more sleep...