Friday, November 11, 2005

Educational Toys

By that mysterious process known only to marketers, I am starting to receive educational toy catalogs. (I haven't even bought any toys except at garage sales, except for one measly, but much loved, package of alphabet blocks at Wal-mart.) I was unimpressed by their collection of write-on plastic birthday cakes (Teaches writing skills!) and books that read themselves (why bother?). Maybe I should start my own catalog:

Bowl of Beans
This attractive plastic dish full of black and white beans, accessorized by an empty film canister, will provide hours of fun and learning as your child masters fine motor skills, sorting, colors, math, and auditory discrimination. For added fun (and less vaccuuming), buy the extra "Charmin Soft Tissue" box to use when playing with the beans.

Tupperware Cupboard
Bursting to the seams with educational activities, the "Tupperware Cupboard" teaches shapes, colors, stacking, sorting, and dishwashing skills. Plus, it will increase your own coordination as you learn not to step on scattered tupperware.

Baby Brother
This adorable little fellow will give your toddler wonderful opportunities to role play, practice sharing and social skills, and learn anatomy. Best of all, it grows with your child! Cost varies with delivery method. Ongoing maintenance costs not included.

Mommy
This one does it all. In addition to the letters, numbers, colors and shapes that everything teaches, this one can teach hygiene, nutrition, safety, household maintenance and pretty much anything else. Sings songs, reads stories, and serves as jungle gym. Some models also do windows.

5 comments:

Jeremy said...

Your name, address and other demographic information (such as the fact you have young children) has made it into the hands of the dreaded "list vendors."

You can probably thank your bank, life-insurance company, credit-card company (if you have one) or even the grocery store (where perhaps you have purchased tell-tale diapers etc.) for selling your information to the vultures.

Juliana M said...

LOL - I love your toy collection list. I'll take one of each except for the last one. That I can provide from existing resources.

However, you are missing the all-important "Daddy" from your list.

CappuccinoLife said...

Girl, package those right, and you could be a millionaire. :D

Think I'll make a home-made version of your "Bowl of Beans" and see how the toddler likes it. You haven't patented it yet, have you?

Devona said...

I'd like to see how you'd market a "bath." That is one of Olivia's favorite toys.

Queen of Carrots said...

Ah yes, how could I forget "Daddy" and "Bath?" They must be on the next page of the catalog.

I should add to the beans that they are a choking hazard and, along with anything else that's any fun, not for children under 3--unless, of course you do the unheard of act of playing with your children and making sure they don't put them in their mouths.