Tuesday, December 12, 2017


Apparently the children (I can't really call them ducklings anymore, they are not short and fuzzy enough) are supposed to have an excuse slip from me to get out of being marked tardy should they, in fact, be tardy. I don't understand how this works. Surely if I am running so late they are tardy I am also too late to write four notes about it?

Duchess suggests I could create a preprinted sheet and then just check the appropriate box. Something like this, I suppose.

Dear Teacher:
Please excuse [Name] for being late for the following reason:
  • The cat got in.
  • The dog got out. 
  • The cat and dog were locked in mortal combat.
  • One of the wheelchairs broke down and we had to rearrange all the cars and which piece of equipment was in which car in a sequence so complicated I could not possibly reconstruct it. 
  • A child who has survived a decade or more on this earth somehow forgot until we were actually in the car that shoes were an essential part of public attire. And also that the absence of food is a common cause of hunger pain.
  • We passed through a field of time distortion on the way here.
  • Nobody knows the trouble I seen.
  • The next season of Grimm had to go back to the library today and therefore the parents had to stay up late to watch it. 
  • Gremlins, most likely.
  • My own abject failure to be a responsible adult. 
  • Other:___________________________________________________________ 

Somehow I still feel like I'm missing something here.

Oddly, we were almost never tardy last year. We must be getting too slack.


Uglemor said...

Dear Queen of Carrots,
I so like reading your posts. Even a post about tardy notes (do I know these scourges of mankind with six kids, five of whom boys). You use the English language in a delightedly complicated way, forcing me to read some sentences over again in order to understand.
Thanks for writing.
I, not-robot

Darren said...

Other necessary excuses that should be on the list:

* The time change

* The car battery/alternator/engine died.

I loved your list!

Mary Ann said...

Oh, I've missed reading your blog! So happy to see new posts popping up.

Diary of an Autodidact said...

That really made me laugh.
"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen..."

Karen K. said...

That is too funny. I particularly enjoy the one about the DVDs being overdue at the library -- that is my downfall, I stay up far too late watching my library DVDs! Luckily my library doesn't charge fines.