Sometime about the time of clearing up the dishes from Easter dinner, the Slump came on full force. It's been a long, long . . . month? Season? Year? Existence? Anyway, it's been a long, hard push, and I'm tired. And now I have the time to feel tired. Really tired. Tired that creeps out from the deepest places and puts a chokehold on. Tired that spreads like syrup and sticks my fingers together.
When you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
is not easily done
I want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head and stay there for two weeks. But the children keep getting hungry and the grass keeps growing and what we really, really need, maybe even more than sleep, is things being Normal. Whatever that is. Meals that taste like real food and not prepackaged from Costco. Lessons that start before 10:30 in the morning. Bedtime that starts before 10:30 at night. (Isn't it weird that the more exhausted you are, the harder it is to get to bed on time? But there's just so much to *do* before bed.)
So I'm trying to take my slump in small doses. Lay in a stock of utterly effortless reads. Play mindless computer games while listening to music on my headphones to block out the noise. (There still is *some* noise from children playing, even in this house.) Take slow walks with the little kids even if I don't feel up to taking runs with the big kids on bikes. Take naps when the children are occupied instead of getting the housework done. Accept that right now, productivity and efficiency are my enemies. And keep hoping that there's another side to this slump, that someday I'll wake up and actually want to get out of bed, that someday the sun shining outside will feel like an invitation and not a taunt.